Happy Marriage, Boring Sex

Q: I’m 48 years old and happily married to a wonderful man for 17 years. Our kids are in their teens leaving us more free time to spend together. Problem is that for the most part all the romance is gone from our sex. I get that when the kids were smaller we only had time for quickies, but now I’d like more than having him climb on top of me and do his thing. He’s not very experienced since we started dating in our late teens. I’ve only ever been with one other man before my husband, so I don’t know a lot about sex either, but I’m thinking there must be more. What can I do to help add some excitement back into our marriage?

A: First know that you’re not alone. Many couples find themselves in a sexual rut when sex becomes routine due to busy lives. I have many suggestions, but let’s start with a few.

  1. Establish a weekly date night. When was your last official datet? Having time to put aside your daily cares and focus on each other is paramount to spicing up your romantic life. It doesn’t have to be any place fancy; just someplace where you can enjoy each other’s company and reflect on what you love about each other.
  2. Go the extra mile with personal care. Remember the time you used to spend getting ready for a date in the early days? Spruce up a bit for your date night. Spend a little extra time on your hair. Treat yourself to a manicure and add a jazzy polish. Add some perfume to your bath. Trim your nose hairs. Spritz on a little perfume (note the operative word here is “little” – don’t overwhelm your partner by bathing in scent). Let your partner know you’ve done this for him, which may subtly encourage him to reciprocate for future dates.
  3. Communicate, communicate, communicate! Chat about a scene in one of the erotic romance novels out there. Or better yet, share one of your personal fantasies (start with something simple to open the door). My husband introduced me to our Double Diary as a way to share our love and fantasies, and we haven’t looked back since. You can read all about starting a double diary along with a few excerpts in my erotic romance novel, Scorpio Awakens.
  4. Above all, be patient. Change takes time. Use the time to education yourself about your sexual needs and desires. You’ll find that the Ask Dan and Jennifer blog is a great resource.

That should be enough to get you started. Give one or all of these suggestions a try and let us know how it goes. Readers, do you have any other suggestions?

Feed your fantasies!


Is His Penis Too Big?

Tape MeasureFrom time to time I receive questions from my readers, and I’ve decided to start the new year off with a new “Dear Lilith” column. Here’s the first I selected.

Q: My husband’s penis is so big it’s uncomfortable when we have intercourse. It’s very thick and is longer than both hands wrapped around it. Is he too big for me?

A: When we’re talking penis size, there is no such thing as too big or too small. The average length of an male penis is 4.7 to 6.3 inches with a circumference of around 4.7 inches. (Click here or here to read more about penis size.) That makes the average mean length of an erect penis around 5 to 6 inches.

The beauty of the vagina is that it was made to accommodate almost any size. As you relax and enjoy, you may find yourself able to absorb a little more of his length. Put aside any worries about being able to please him and focus on using a combination of hands, mouth, and vagina to help you both experience maximum pleasure.

Readers – any other suggestions?

Feed your fantasies!



SCORPIO AWAKENS Launch Party Invitation

sa-tss-ld-200-300I’m happy to announce that the revised version of Scorpio Awakens is coming out on Friday, November 28, and I invite you to join me on Facebook for the launch party. If you’re online, drop by between 5 – 8 p.m. EST and join me and fellow erotic romance authors as we celebrate the arrival of Scorpio Awakens.

A submissive emerges and submits to her hidden desires!

If you ran into a lover from your youth, one who had stolen and then broken your heart, would you run?

Yes, it’s me, Connor McClane and that’s my first inclination when I see Katherine King again. It’s twenty years later and a lot has happened. I now run a publishing empire and am co-owner of the elite Masquerade Clubs.

Seduction isn’t necessary. We’re both Scorpios. The spark between Kat and me ignites into a flame, and I’m drawn to her like the proverbial moth. Our sex is electric, just like the promise of what we started so many years ago. Determined not to suffer the anguish of separation again, I propose to help Kat discover the truth of her submissive nature. Will she run again?

Throw my business partner and Katherine’s ex into the mix, both intent on driving us apart, and you have a cauldron of intrigue and searing sensuality just waiting to boil over.

Scorpio Awakens is the story of Connor and Katherine’s journey of exploration and discovery. Will they beat the odds?

Reader Advisory: This book contains scenes that will stimulate your sexual imagination including ménage, dominance and submission, sex toys, etc. Feed your fantasies!


What He REALLY Thinks About During Sex With You

What He Really ThinksGreat article with his and her viewpoints from the Ask Dan and Jennifer blog.

Is there any woman who doesn’t want to know what goes on inside the male mind? If you’re like most (okay probably all) women, you’ve thought about what your man is thinking…

continue reading


Raw Books Gives Scorpio Begins 5 Stars!

Feature and Review: Scorpio Begins by Lilith Darville

sb-tss-ld-450-675Prequels and novellas are not usual choices for me, but Scorpio Begins was superb and I truly enjoyed it! I was sad when it was over because I was really getting into the story. And Connor. The writing is intelligent and well done. All of the characters are fascinating and I am definitely intrigued about the future installments in the Scorpio Saga. This appears to be a debut book for Lilith Darville and all I can say is “Why did you wait so long to unleash your talent on the world?” The market needs more authors who write with intelligence and maturity. Lilith Darville has promise and I am already a fan. Especially since the back of Scorpio begins had the blurb for Scorpio Awakens and it only served to make me more anxious to read more of Connor McClane and whatever life hands him as a hot-headed Scorpio who had only just begun to embrace his sexuality toward the end of Scorpio Begins.

Source: http://rawbooksonline.com/feature-review-scorpio-begins-lilith-darville/


Join the Scorpio Begins Launch Party

sb-tss-ld-100-150Hello – I’m excited to announce the release of my erotic romance novel, Scorpio Begins on August 22. My publisher, Luminosity Publishing, has set up a release event on Facebook, and I invite you to join us for all kinds of fun between now and the release. If you’re on Facebook, all you have to do is click this event link and then click Join:  https://www.facebook.com/events/707807025952953/

Also, feel free to “friend” me or Like my author page if you’re so inclined.

I look forward to seeing you there.

Feed your fantasies!



Coming in August … Scorpio Begins


Coming in August 2014

My name is Connor McClane, and if you haven’t guessed, I’m a Scorpio. Few women have ever made an impression on me. Not one of them could live up to the sexual prowess of Meredith Kincaid, the woman who stole my virginity and taught me to be a man. Now, three years later, we meet again. She wants me, but only on her terms. She has a secret. I want to keep it casual and am determined not to fall in love. Yet we draw together like the proverbial moth to a flame. So I am entangled in a web of sensual exploration and emotion that leads to a cataclysmic confrontation with the man who has vowed to own Meredith. Will I say yes to the possibilities?

Join Connor and Meredith for lots of steamy hot sex while we learn about the boy who will become the billionaire in this prequel of The Scorpio Saga.


Penis Size — 5 Things Women Want In A Penis

Read about the five traits that work best with our anatomy in this column. Feed your fantasies!

Penis Size – 5 Things Women Want In A Penis.


Is Sexual Fantasy Hazardous to Your Health?

Once in a while I come across an article worth sharing with you. If you’ve visited my website or follow my blog, you know that my motto is “Feed your fantasies”. This article takes a look at how our culture feels about sexual fantasy and how little (sadly!) things have changed in 35 years. Enjoy the read and feed your fantasies!

The Erotica Readers & Writers Association Blog: Is Sexual Fantasy Hazardous to Your Health?



5516378-two-young-men-fighting I stumbled across the stone patio that spread across the back of the large estate. I gulped the cool night air, trying to get rid of the large lump that threatened to choke off my breathing.

This is why I hate feeling. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

I looked up into the night sky. The stars winked back at me as if they knew a secret they weren’t willing to share. For a moment, nothing existed in my universe except for enormity of nature and my breaking heart. A solitary cloud drifted across the face of the full moon. The shimmering moonlight darkened, matching the conflicting feelings that were tearing me apart.

It was several minutes before I became aware of the smell of cigarette smoke drifting from the shadows beside me. The hair stood up on the back of my neck. I spun, and saw the outline of a man as he slouched against a low wall. He wore a pair of tight fitting jeans, an open jean shirt, and deck shoes. His smug smile reflected an arrogance that was obviously contrived to belittle others and remind them of his superiority.

“That’s right, little man. It’s me, Ken,” he said. “I thought that was you.” He came away from the wall and slowly ground the cigarette butt with the toe of his shoe.

“So, how’d you like the show. She’s magnificent, isn’t she? But then rumour has it that you know how talented she is. I would imagine she played you for whatever she wanted. How does it feel to be the latest young toy for her amusement?”

Bile rose in my throat as I turned and faced the man.

“Huh,” he said. “You really believed it was more than Meredith just satisfying her insatiable need, didn’t you?”

“Don’t you dare talk about her like that, you complete fucking asshole,” I said in a low, tight voice. My fists clenched and unclenched at my sides.

The man named Ken laughed and said, “I can talk about her any way I want, little man. I plan to own her. If you’re lucky, I might let you fuck her once more; but I get to watch.”

A film of dark red slid over my eyes. I lunged, but Ken was ready for it. His fist shot out catching me just below his rib cage. I fell to my knees, bending neatly in half with arms clutching my guts, and tried to catch what was left of my breath. My humiliation worsened by the fact that Ken stood there laughing at me.

Brian’s sneakers rushed into view then planted, wide apart, in front of Ken.

“Why don’t you pick on someone your own size, you prick,” Brian said.

If I hadn’t been doubled over in pain, I might have laughed. I imagined Brian standing up to Ken, feet planted wide apart, fists raised. One thing about it, Brian never shied away from a fight. He might not be as big as Ken, but he was fast. As my breathing eased a little, I moved out of the fight zone to support myself against the garden wall.

“Oh really, ant? You want some too?” Ken threw a punch at Brian’s chin. Brian dodged and returned with an upper cut that met the sheet metal of Ken’s abs. The man didn’t even wince; he simply smiled and watched Brian’s dance. Brian stilled, braced on his toes, watching for Ken’s counter attack. With the speed of a cat playing with a mouse, Ken slapped Brian’s face and twisted a lock of his long black hair around his fist. He spun Brian around and placed a massive forearm around his throat.

“Come to papa, sweetheart,” Ken crooned in Brian’s ear. “Let papa show you what a real man feels like.”

Disclaimer: May be edited or deleted prior to publication. | Copyright © 2013 Lilith Darville. All Rights Reserved.