Happy Marriage, Boring Sex

Q: I’m 48 years old and happily married to a wonderful man for 17 years. Our kids are in their teens leaving us more free time to spend together. Problem is that for the most part all the romance is gone from our sex. I get that when the kids were smaller we only had time for quickies, but now I’d like more than having him climb on top of me and do his thing. He’s not very experienced since we started dating in our late teens. I’ve only ever been with one other man before my husband, so I don’t know a lot about sex either, but I’m thinking there must be more. What can I do to help add some excitement back into our marriage?

A: First know that you’re not alone. Many couples find themselves in a sexual rut when sex becomes routine due to busy lives. I have many suggestions, but let’s start with a few.

  1. Establish a weekly date night. When was your last official datet? Having time to put aside your daily cares and focus on each other is paramount to spicing up your romantic life. It doesn’t have to be any place fancy; just someplace where you can enjoy each other’s company and reflect on what you love about each other.
  2. Go the extra mile with personal care. Remember the time you used to spend getting ready for a date in the early days? Spruce up a bit for your date night. Spend a little extra time on your hair. Treat yourself to a manicure and add a jazzy polish. Add some perfume to your bath. Trim your nose hairs. Spritz on a little perfume (note the operative word here is “little” – don’t overwhelm your partner by bathing in scent). Let your partner know you’ve done this for him, which may subtly encourage him to reciprocate for future dates.
  3. Communicate, communicate, communicate! Chat about a scene in one of the erotic romance novels out there. Or better yet, share one of your personal fantasies (start with something simple to open the door). My husband introduced me to our Double Diary as a way to share our love and fantasies, and we haven’t looked back since. You can read all about starting a double diary along with a few excerpts in my erotic romance novel, Scorpio Awakens.
  4. Above all, be patient. Change takes time. Use the time to education yourself about your sexual needs and desires. You’ll find that the Ask Dan and Jennifer blog is a great resource.

That should be enough to get you started. Give one or all of these suggestions a try and let us know how it goes. Readers, do you have any other suggestions?

Feed your fantasies!

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Is His Penis Too Big?

Tape MeasureFrom time to time I receive questions from my readers, and I’ve decided to start the new year off with a new “Dear Lilith” column. Here’s the first I selected.

Q: My husband’s penis is so big it’s uncomfortable when we have intercourse. It’s very thick and is longer than both hands wrapped around it. Is he too big for me?

A: When we’re talking penis size, there is no such thing as too big or too small. The average length of an male penis is 4.7 to 6.3 inches with a circumference of around 4.7 inches. (Click here or here to read more about penis size.) That makes the average mean length of an erect penis around 5 to 6 inches.

The beauty of the vagina is that it was made to accommodate almost any size. As you relax and enjoy, you may find yourself able to absorb a little more of his length. Put aside any worries about being able to please him and focus on using a combination of hands, mouth, and vagina to help you both experience maximum pleasure.

Readers – any other suggestions?

Feed your fantasies!

Lilith

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What He REALLY Thinks About During Sex With You

What He Really ThinksGreat article with his and her viewpoints from the Ask Dan and Jennifer blog.

Is there any woman who doesn’t want to know what goes on inside the male mind? If you’re like most (okay probably all) women, you’ve thought about what your man is thinking…

continue reading

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Penis Size — 5 Things Women Want In A Penis

Read about the five traits that work best with our anatomy in this column. Feed your fantasies!

Penis Size – 5 Things Women Want In A Penis.

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DON’T Try These Homemade Sex Toys! – Ask Dan and Jennifer

At first I thought this article was a joke, but sadly, there are those who need to heed these warnings. DON’T Try These Homemade Sex Toys! – Ask Dan and Jennifer.

And for those interested in checking out the Richard Gere gerbil story, it’s a fake; and you can find details here: http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/celebrities/a/richard_gere.htm

If you’re looking for sex toys, there are plenty of safe ones (check out the silicone) available online or at your local adult store. Play safe and feed your fantasies!

~Lilith~
info@lilithdarville.com

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Sex Tips: 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Vaginas

Sex Tips: 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Vaginas (Video)#the-post.

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Orgasm Dilemma – Are These 4 Things Ruining Your O?

If you’re having trouble reaching orgasm, this article may be for you: Orgasm Dilemma – Are These 4 Things Ruining Your O?.

As for the lubricant suggestion, you may remember from an earlier post that I’ve found the absolute best lubricant called Crème de la Femme. It was created by a female doctor, and it’s odorless and tasteless. (And no, folks, I’m not paid for this endorsement; I just love the product and want to let you know about it.)

If you’re making lists in your mind during love making, it’s time to read a good erotic romance. ~big grin~

May romance be with you!

Lilith

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Top 10 Female Masturbation Tips – Ask Dan and Jennifer

I think the heading says it all. I learned a thing or two. 🙂 “Whether you only have time for a quick feel-good session with yourself, or whether you have all the time in the world, the following list provides a method for every woman to maximize her benefit from a beautiful masturbation experience. Right now, take a little look-see to find out which one(s) fit your personality and schedule.”

Top 10 Female Masturbation Tips – Ask Dan and Jennifer.

May romance be with you!

~ Lilith ~
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5 Sex Secrets He’d Die From If You Found Out

What a great article on a few of the sex secrets that some men have; and, in my experience, five is just the tip of the iceberg. As our relationship deepened and trust grew, we grew comfortable sharing even our darkest sexual fantasies and this increased our pleasure exponentially. So, if you haven’t already, start sharing some of your most exciting fantasies with your man, and he, in turn, will share back. Remember to listen with an open mind; after all, you don’t need to try all of them to hear about them and enjoy the trust your partner is placing in you. Take baby steps, but do it!

5 Sex Secrets He’d Die From If You Found Out.

May romance be with you!

~ Lilith ~
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Save Your Marriage – Revive Romance and Passion with this Simple Trick

“Sometimes these couples haven’t had sex in years, perhaps decades.” I’m so sad when I read comments like this from studies or therapists; and then, I count my blessings! If you’re not as lucky as we are to have even more passion with your partner than you did in the “early days,” this article may be for you. Happy reading!

via Save Your Marriage – Revive Romance and Passion with this Simple Trick.

May romance be with you!

~ Lilith ~
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